Interview with Derek Liu part 1
Like I gave a shit about my customers… – ”Derek Liu, gay CEO of GaiaOnline”
Two days before Christmas, on December 23th, 2006, one of our staff members had the unforeseen privilege to meet GaiaOnline’s founder and mastermind, Derek Liu. For the benefit of all members of ChaosProgramming forums, we have decided to post the interview that followed, between Medley, of Chaos Programming, and Derek Liu.
Medley: Good morning Mister Liu! First, I would like to personally thank you for according us this interview.
Derek Liu: No problem! I love giving my customers the impression that they are important to me.
Medley : Very kind of you, sir. What kind of name is Derek Liu by the way?
Derek Liu: It’s a gay name. What else would you expect from someone that made such a gay game?
Medley : Very true, mister Liu! So, can you tell us what is a typical Derek Liu day like ?
Derek Liu: Sure. I wake up very late in the morning, still tired from all the bullshit I see on my gay forums, and then proceed to ban 200-300 of accounts I randomly choose, depending on how I feel. I then do absolutely nothing all day apart from drinking martinis and masturbating all day to some hot hantai porn. I finally go to sleep at ten o’clock, still laughing at all the stupid, sexually insecure dumbass kids wasting their time and parents’ hard-earned money on some stupid virtual items to dress ugly avatars, not realizing they could probably dress themselves much better instead.
Medley: Looks like an exciting day, mister Liu! Have you visited chaosprogramming.com yet?
Derek Liu: Ha! Of course I did, I even bought their bot!
Medley: Really?
Derek Liu: YA R-L-Y [NOTE : He actually said that loud, what a nerd…], and it PWNS! SRSLY, aside from the overpriced and stupid donations that you morons keep sending, I believe it is the only actual way to actually make over 50,000 gold in my game.
Medley: Interesting, mister Liu. Can you explain further?
Derek Liu: Of course, the principle is simple: you fucking dumbasses keep sending me real money to get virtual items, while I always higher the prices by manually deleting the richest accounts and banning their IPs forever so they can’t come back and complain. And if they do complain, I simply tell that they were botting! This excuse now works even better since I can actually blame Chaosprogramming for it. I’m a genius, I tell you!
Medley: You mean that you use ChaosProgramming as an excuse to ban rich accounts, only to keep the ‘’offer’’ low while the demand is always growing?
Derek Liu: Exactly! In fact, not only can I easily blame ChaosProgramming for all the problems I ever get, such as stupid bugs, unfair bans, hacked accounts, server-side lag, and still go away with it, but I can create all the inflation I want and blame CP for it. That way, by the time you have collected 100,000 gold, your item is going to be worth 200,000! To resume, you will be forced to send MORE donations to have a chance to get the items you dream of! In other words, I make more money, and everyone is happy!
Medley: Except your customers…
Derek Liu: Like I gave a shit about my customers…
Medley: Very true, Derek Liu. What do you think of the new Automatic Unbanner. Have you looked at the video?
Derek Liu: The video didn’t contain any Hot Hentai porn, so no, I haven’t looked at it. As for the ‘’automatic unbanner’’, which exploits a bug that would takes five, maybe ten minutes to patch (but that no one cares to fix), I believe there is nothing we can do about it.
Medley: How’s so? Can’t you get a programmer to actually fix it?
Derek Liu: Hey, it took us two years to introduce stupid, worthless house rating, and we still haven’t released 90% of the features we announced three years ago. The game is full of stupid bugs and numerous exploits that allows anyone to dupe gold and steal accounts, so do you really believe we can do something about it?
Medley: You could actually fix the bugs…
Derek Liu: I’m not god, damnit! I’m already extremely busy at the moment! Know what? If you guys at chaosprogramming are SOOOOOOOO good, why don’t you do it yourself!
Medley: Hmm, that would be an interesting proposition. How much would you pay us?
Derek Liu: Pay you? ROFLMAO! Yeah, and I’ll start paying my moderators too! And why not my employees as well!
Medley: You mean you don’t pay your employees for working day after day to improve your game?
Derek Liu: I’m not god, damnit! Stop talking to me like I was some stupid millionaire!
Medley : But you ARE millionaire!
Derek Liu : Clearly, but not stupid.
(ironic) Medley : Clearly not.
Derek Liu : Anyway, like I said, I only have only ten employees, which represents a mere excuse to avoid paying taxes. In comparison, ChaosProgramming has 15, and they are a much, much smaller company.
Medley : Impressive, how can you manage such a big website with that little employees?
Derek Liu : I don’t. In fact, most of my employees are only there to cash-in the numerous ‘’donations’’ I receive from some dumbass kids. I tell you, the day eleven years old kids stop accessing the internet and their parents’ credit cards, I’m going bankrupt!
Medley : Interesting, mister Liu. In other words, you must be pretty, pretty rich.
Derek Liu : Of course. Great men deserve great money. What is sad, though, is that although I am multi-millionaire, I am still a virgin, colon, open parenthesis.
Medley : How’s so? Can’t you use all your money to pay yourself a woman?
Derek Liu : A man, you mean.
(afraid) Medley: Huh…. Right. Before we end, could you please ‘’Buy GoldenGaia, it owns!’’ for us, please?
Derek Liu : Sure! Get GoldenGaia, it’s the only way you can get to compensate for how bad I rape you!
(afraid) Medley: Huh… thank you very much mister Liu, and good luck with gaiaonline!
Derek Liu : No problems, now if you’d excuse me, I got some hot hentai porn on the fire… Hahahahaha, ‘’hot’’, ‘’on the fire’’, do you get it?
Medley: I prefer not. Thank you again, mister Liu!
Discuss this article in our FORUMS!
Read Interview with Derek Liu part 2 now on gaiaonlinesucks.com !
January 25th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
January 31st, 2009 at 2:13 am
February 5th, 2009 at 12:08 am
February 7th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
February 7th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
February 11th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
you fail man. STFU ansd get a life!
February 12th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
February 14th, 2009 at 1:13 am
February 26th, 2009 at 1:45 am
March 14th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
March 17th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
March 17th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
March 17th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
May 4th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
May 5th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
What a loser.
May 6th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
May 10th, 2009 at 7:59 am
May 12th, 2009 at 10:00 am
note for gaia morons : STFU one day you will know how stupid gaia is
May 25th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
May 26th, 2009 at 3:09 am
GET OVER IT! im assuming you got kicked off gaia but now you just need to get. a. LIFE.
instead of sitting at a computer all day bitching about something you cant change and making juvinuile not to mention immature attempts to change peoples minds by creating fake arguments, i mean its fine that you need to vent your anger but dont make us hear about it!
and FYI i LOVE Gaia becuase its one of the only ways that i can talk to my best freaind who moved to Australia last holidays and quite frankly you are not going to win this fight.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:26 am
May 28th, 2009 at 7:57 am
I deserved what happened to me… So if Gaia bans for no reason, what I’m saying is not true… But its true…
Well unless, I think Derek Liu is a gay… HAHAHA
June 24th, 2009 at 8:01 am
You simply have to dress an ugly avatar hoping the game will eventually improve. Their forums are horrible, full with idiotics posts that always concerns two things : rape and more rape.”.abslalutely juvinive.
June 24th, 2009 at 8:03 am
June 24th, 2009 at 8:07 am
June 25th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Do we need to explain it again and again that we were doing this for the sake of others?! We don’t want them to experience the same thing that happened to us! If you guys don’t believe in us, then prepare for the most frustrating time of your life!
And, who wouldn’t get angry if you spent your whole time, effort and money playing the stupid Gaia? Imagine! Everyday, you wake up full of plans and dreams about your Gaia, then suddenly, with the blink of an eye, you lost everything! The most frustrating of all, is that, you lost your Gaia without knowing anything. You don’t even know what’s the exact reason why you got banned. Tell me, if that ever happened to you, wouldn’t you get mad? Wouldn’t you take revenge? Get banned without knowing anything, then that’s the perfect time you go and post in here.
Telling us to stop what we’re doing, saying to move on and get a life, do you think that, that will erase our range to Gaia? Think about it over again. If you were in our situation, you should know what we feel. You should know how hard it feels to be betrayed by your most trusted website.
And, hello?!? You guys mentioned that the creator of this website is just a young kid? Think it again! Are you guys dumb? A kid hosting an independent website? Do you think a kid can be an EX EMPLOYEE at CHAOSPROGRAMMING? Do you think that a kid can work on their main product, the GoldenGaia? At the age of 13, I really CAN’T do such things. Creating a program that allows you to gain free gold, without doing anything, do you think that a kid can do that??
*For Sarah- Stop making false accusations that this website is just written by a kid. Look at your grammar and spelling, isn’t that too obvious that you’re a kid? Want examples? These are some of your oh so good spelling and grammar.
1. muinites- whoa. What a word!
2. idiotics posts- didn’t you learn the concept of subject-verb agreement?
3. abslalutely- my gosh! Can’t you spell absolutely correctly?
4. juvinive- is there such thing as juvinive??
See? I’m just 13 years of age but I had corrected your grammar. Don’t underestimate us. Kids can do great things!
And please. If you have nothing good to say about this website, then shut your mouth and leave it! Just like you people who keep asking us to just leave Gaia. If you don’t like the website and you don’t like the rules and everything that is in here, then leave it! You’re making a small issue to be very complicated. Mind your own business if you want respect for you and for others!
July 5th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
July 20th, 2009 at 6:31 am
July 31st, 2009 at 6:21 am
August 4th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
If you want to fight with me, then feel free to stop by my Gaia prof-OH WAIT! Nevermind!
Sincerely,
-Pixie Ninja-
[...Dumbasses...]
August 9th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
August 21st, 2009 at 12:05 am
August 25th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
your just a whinny little baby who got banned
And this interview is obviously fake
GET OVER IT!
September 8th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
September 8th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
2. This article is homophobic.
September 15th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
You’re all invited to my mansion for some coke and Taiwanese hookers.
November 25th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
& “Worst Game Ever- GAIA” seriously who gave you the idea of this intervew?
XD
you are sooooooooooooooo funny!!!
nice site!
November 25th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
November 30th, 2009 at 8:46 am
November 30th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
nicole says gaia is okaii but the rich bycthes need to fuk offf and the lil skans on there alright
8=================D
December 2nd, 2009 at 4:33 am
thisiswhywecan’thavenicethings.gif
December 10th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
I salute you
December 24th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
January 8th, 2010 at 4:46 am
January 9th, 2010 at 9:50 am
If you go out and by cashcards, thats your own fault.
Ive never spent a dime on Gaia.
I go on for the purpose of contacting friends in which, I have moved away from.
Stop wasting you time bitching and do somthing usful.
February 6th, 2010 at 8:04 am